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Here’s a bit of honesty for you: I don’t like being pregnant. There’s this weird pressure to be in good spirits (which is impossible to be at all times no matter the state of your uterus), deny the anxiety of impending childbirth (which really hurts) and be ok with people who are not medical professionals asking you if you’re dilated (which is super off-putting).

I am extremely grateful that I have not had fertility issues and that I have the ability to bring  babies into the world. However, actually being pregnant is not my idea of a good time. The third trimester practice contractions, getting stuck on the couch, constant need to waddle to the bathroom aspects of being this close to meeting my girl are not fun.

Granted, it is fun to watch her foot move across the top of my belly and daydream about holding her and singing her lullabies. To me, pregnancy is a necessary means to a much desired end. It is also one of the few times when the journey is most definitely not the destination. The past 37 weeks have certainly happened. Now I just want to meet my Louise. Because that is the point of all of this anyway.

2016 in books, January

For all but the last weekend of this month, it was too cold to be outside. However, it was perfect to lay my hugely pregnant self down on a couch, cover up with a blanket and escape into books.

  • Tenth of December: Stories by George Saunders
    • My LibraryThing secret Santa sent me this book, which arrived on Christmas Eve. I have done SantaThing twice, and each time my Santa has picked out a book that I never would have found on my own but that I truly enjoyed. Saunders is a phenomenal writer, and his short stories feel complete regardless of their page length. The characters are complex and have to ask and answer hard questions, frequently in disturbing circumstances.
  • The Animal Kingdom: A Very Short Introduction by Peter Holland
    • We’re working on a new permanent exhibit about evolution, the tree of life and phylogenetics. It’s complicated and fascinating. My boss is the one doing the hard research, and I read this book so that I will be able to be a good editor as the drafting begins. Incidentally, the fact that I get to read books about evolutionary biology makes my job even better.
  • Run by Ann Patchett
    • Run is a novel about adoption and family secrets. I usually love Patchett’s books, but I had a difficult time getting invested in this story.
  • Every Last One by Anna Quindlen
    • This book was my first time reading Anna Quindlen, and I anticipate that there will be more of her books in my future. The first half of the book struck me as a cozy story about a likeable family–one that shared many similarities to my own. The second half hit me like a punch in the gut, and I stayed up way too late to see how it would end.
  • Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher
    • My friend Rachel loans me young adult novels after she reads them. While I’m a fan of YA fiction, I also need to intersperse it with other genres. Rachel makes sure that the best ones she reads make their way onto my radar. The format of this novel was unusual. A teenager receives thirteen audio cassettes recorded by a classmate who recently committed suicide. The narration alternates between her voice on the tapes and his thoughts about what he is hearing. It is fantastic.
  • ContamiNation: My Quest to Survive in a Toxic World by McKay Jenkins
    • I received a copy of this book through the LibraryThing Early Reviewer program. McKay Jenkins offers us a frankly horrifying look at the toxins that surround us daily. Jenkins demonstrates through exhaustive research that chemicals are an ever-present reality in our homes, offices, cleaning supplies, toys, lawns and drinking water. While the author does an exemplary job showing how the problem developed and the havoc that it can wreak on human health, there is a dearth of practical solutions to limit personal chemical exposure. He does make some suggestions, but, ultimately, the reader is left with the understanding that while there is clearly a problem, a solution is far from certain. It did make me think about where the things I buy come from and to look for product that are phthalate- and paraben-free.
  • Imagined London: A Tour of the World’s Greatest Fictional City by Anna Quindlen
    • The travel literature sub-genre makes me happy so when I found this book in my neighborhood Little Free Library, I grabbed it. Unfortunately, it was not a particularly interesting read. I am not as well read as the author so a lot of her observations about locations featured in English literature did not resonate with me. Except for 221B Baker Street. That one I got.
  • The Circle by Dave Eggers
    • I could not stop reading this book, and since I finished it, I have not been able to stop thinking about it. If you’re familiar with Dave Eggers, you know that he is an author who makes you think about the larger implications of his stories. In The Circle, a woman begins working for a social networking company (like a mixture of Facebook and Google on crack) that is steadily taking over how people worldwide communicate, purchase goods and think. As I read, it struck me how bizarre it was that characters were giving over so much of their autonomy and sense of self to a company. Then it struck me that while the conditions Eggers established were far-fetched, the implications of where social media is taking us were not. It raises questions about privacy and memory that I believe are far from settled in our current digital age.
  • Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang by Chelsea Handler
    • I found this one in my neighborhood Little Free Library. Frankly, I’m not ever sure of what to make of Chelsea Handler. Sometimes her material makes me laugh out loud; other times her jokes fall incredibly flat. This book was what I expected–frequently funny, always irreverent.

2 years

I have a loving, smart, funny 2-year-old.

2-year-old.

Which means that somehow two years have passed since my kid came into this world.


He loves to read. In fact, he loves it so much that we had to make it a rule to only read him a book one time each day. Otherwise, we’d spend all day reading Little Blue Truck and Corduroy while the other books on his shelf went unread. It seems like a good time to learn that favorites are good but so is variety.

He loves peas, fruit of all kinds, pickles, deli meat and anything sweet. Actually, there are very few things he doesn’t like once we bribe him (often with peas) into trying them.

He likes puzzles, trains, dinosaurs, balls, putting things in, taking things out, cutting the pickle (the other day he made a joke out of “cutting” an actual pickle and then tickling himself; Greg and I laughed hysterically), hopping, dancing and playing with his 70 pound pup-pup. His teddy bear Blue is his constant companion, although Cat is frequently not far away. His big boy bed is covered with his babies, and he tells us when, “shh!” they are sleeping.

More than anything, he loves spending time with his family. His grandparents are four of his favorite people. His aunts (real and fictive) and uncles make him happy. His daddy hung the moon, and I am usually his constant safe place.

Two years ago this little boy changed my world and gave me a new job title. I am excited to see him in his upcoming role as big brother; he’ll be great.

2015 in Books, December

In an unsurprising (to me) turn of events, I’m not reading as much these days. I’m in my third trimester, and everything, including reading, takes more effort. Any moment when I’m not building block towers, at the museum, supervising crayon time or cooking meals, I try to sleep. My girl is growing fast, making her momma (more) ungainly in the process.

  • The Empire of Tea by Alan Macfarlane and Iris Macfarlane
    • I love drinking tea. It makes cold nights more comfortable and grading papers manageable. I found this book on a discount rack and decided that it fit in well with my desire for tea, history and cheap books. Alan Macfarlane is an anthropologist and his mother Iris is a retired tea plantation manager’s wife, which gives them unique perspectives on the topic. Their story of tea blends together science, history and anthropology while focusing mainly on the Assam region of India. I like reading about the British Raj, but I do wish they would have spent more pages talking about the role of tea in other parts of Asia.
  • Crusades for Freedom: Memphis and the Political Transformation of the American South by G. Wayne Dowdy
    • I’m rounding out the year with another book from work. As a general rule, I do not seek out political history books because I find them dull. However, another of my general operating procedures is to read as much as possible about the period I am researching. This book deals with the years 1948-1968, which falls squarely within the scope of the exhibits I am writing. Dowdy compiled good information that adds complexity to my understanding of the city during these decades. Frankly, reading this book makes Memphis’ current political climate seem downright tame.

A year’s worth of books

By my rough count, I’ve read 63 books this year, not including the countless number of kids books I read aloud. It’s a respectable number–nowhere near my peak, but not too shabby when I take into account everything else that happened in 2015, which notably includes raising a toddler and growing a baby.

Part of the reason that I make it a point to read often is so that my son, and soon my daughter, can see me enjoying books. I want to raise readers. Readers can be entertained anywhere, they can explore new ideas and test theories, and I have found that they are generally interesting people who are capable of having great conversations. The best advice I have ever been given is to develop the ability to speak genuinely and intelligently with anybody about a topic that interests them. Sometimes that means knowing a lot about a subject and sometimes it just means knowing how to ask thoughtful questions. I took that advice seriously and realized that being broad in my reading choices is the best way to develop those skills. This year’s books included history, science, literary fiction, young adult novels, architecture, material culture, food, mystery, essays and memoirs. I loved some of them, worked my way through others and stopped reading a few that I just did not enjoy.

I believe that reading makes me a more interesting person. The mental space to encounter new ideas and explore old ideas in unique ways makes me a more thoughtful person. The ability to do something for myself definitely makes me a better mother.

There are a few things that I know for sure about what 2016 will bring. Our family will gain a new member and many sleepless nights. The toddler will grow faster than I realize and learn new things constantly. My children and I will read together. And I will read alone to keep a sense of myself. Because in my continually changing reality, books will remain a constant.

Faces

Have you ever watched a toddler’s face?

There is nothing guarded or held back. Emotions play out in all their ferocity and quickly flicker back and forth. Anger turns to elation when the blocks finally stay stacked. Happiness becomes sorrow when a loved one leaves the room.

My favorite toddler face is a mixture of surprise and wonder. Something like this:11796287_722338451355_6153115859727048228_n

The picture is blurry, but I think the general feeling comes across nicely. Noah was amazed that his Uncle Ryan could skip rocks across a river. It violated his fragile grasp of gravity.

More recently the face looked like this:

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He spent a lot of our walk through Zoo Lights pointing and talking and generally being excited. However, it was the carousel that had him truly impressed. There were movement, lights and animals. Here’s a close-up:

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Riding the carousel was an entirely different face (a combination of trepidation and sleepiness), but I never want to forget how happy he was watching the animals go around in circles well past his bedtime.

You can’t manufacture a face like that; you can only enjoy them when they come.

Another season of waiting

As I sit here drinking my coffee, ignoring the plaintive cries of my toddler for a few more minutes, two candles are glowing in the background. I wrote last year about my love of Advent, a feeling that gets stronger each year. This season I find myself waiting for many things–my students to turn in their final projects so I can put my online class to rest, paychecks to come, temper tantrums to end. I can feel my daughter forcefully moving, which has me impatiently thinking of the day when I get to hold her.

I am trying something new this Advent, which I hope will evolve, the way these things do, into a loved tradition. I filled the drawers of our Advent calendar with things to do. Some are big, like visiting Zoo Lights, but most are small things that we can do each day to put us in the right mindset. So far we have danced to Christmas carols and mailed postcards to loved ones far away. Soon we will count the donation pig and do something for some else. It is an attempt to remind us about what we are spiritually waiting for, beyond the temporary desires that hit each December.

We sing the missa simplex at our church this liturgical season, and one line keeps coming back to me each morning: “Christ, true light from light,  heal our blinded sight.” As I hear hate speech coming from a presidential candidate in the wake of heartbreaking violence, I pray that this season of waiting will allow us all to open our eyes to the beauty and goodness that still exists in our world.

2015 in Books, November

  • Let the Great World Spin by Colum McCann
    • Fantastically good writing. Honestly, when I read the blurb on the back of the book I wondered how anyone could write a novel based on a man walking between the World Trade Centers on a tightrope. The plot was not what I was expecting, but it was expertly executed.
  • How Buildings Learn: What Happens after They’re Built by Stewart Brand
    • This architecture book was one I read for work. Part of the big idea of the new exhibits I am working on is that the use of the mansion building has evolved over time to fit the needs of its users. My research is leading me to the conclusion that this is true both architecturally and philosophically. Brand made me think about buildings in a whole new way, which had the added benefit of making me love my old house even more.
  • Queen of the Turtle Derby and Other Southern Phenomena by Julia Reed
    • As a general rule, I will read any book that promises humorous essays about the region that I love. Some of Reed’s essays fit the bill and others were not quite my style. It was also odd to read stories written about New Orleans pre-Katrina. I have gotten so used to post-Katrina NOLA discussions, that it was hard to get into a pre-flood mindset.
  • Landline by Rainbow Rowell
    • As with the other Rainbow Rowell books I have read recently, this one made me happy. It’s a fast book, and a reminder to not take people we love for granted.
  • Waste-Free Kitchen Handbook by Dana Gunders
    • I won a copy of this book from The Penny Hoarder, which I was super pumped about. While I already do a lot of the things that Gunders suggests in her handbook–like utilizing the freezer, canning, composting, and making stock from food scraps, I found some good information. For example, her explanation of food expiration and best by dates made me rethink my approach to some of my kitchen staples. I also appreciated the reminder to think about food as precious and something that should be used to its fullest capacity. It’s easy to forget that mindset when living in the land of 24-hour grocery stores. We have a food-secure household, and for that I am very grateful.
  • Elite Women and the Reform Impulse in Memphis, 1875-1915 by Marsha Wedell
    • Background research for a project at the museum. We recently reframed the concept of a gallery that we are redesigning to include a panel about the suffrage movement in Memphis. Wedell’s book does not deal exclusively with the suffrage movement, and it comes before the time period the exhibit will cover; however, I believe in casting a wide net. She gave me background information about the women who were active in the community in a well-researched format.
  • Broken Harbor: A Novel by Tana French
    • Tana French is the reason why I do not read other mystery novels. She sets the bar so high that I have a difficult time finding other authors who can entertain me as well as she does. This is the fourth book of hers that I have read, and, like the others, she kept me guessing and twisting with the lead detective until the end. If you like psychological mysteries, you should definitely give her a read.

Sister Suffragette

Finally…another post for the Pink Palace. This one is about the women’s suffrage movement.

palacesocial's avatarThe Pink Palace Family of Museums

1979-98-3

A major political battle that took place in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries was the fight over women’s right to vote. In Memphis, Martha Elizabeth Moore Allen was one of the city’s most prominent suffragettes. She was born in in 1851 in Plymouth, Indiana, and later married Jacob Davis Allen. Mrs. Allen first got interested in the women’s suffrage movement after she heard Susan B. Anthony speak at a rally in the 1870s. Her active involvement in suffrage work began in 1889 after she and her husband moved to Nashville. After they moved to Memphis, Mrs. Allen joined the Equal Suffrage Association in 1904. The organization folded shortly thereafter, and she became the first president of a suffrage group called the Equal Suffrage League from 1906-1912. Her involvement was not limited to the city, but rather extended to organizing the suffrage movement throughout Tennessee, and one of the…

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Showing up

Sometimes all you can do is show up. There are not words to heal a broken heart or replace what was lost too soon. You cannot fix the unfixable or fill the hole that is left. All you can do is be there and listen. And say it sucks. And ask for stories that tell a life that is profoundly mourned.

You cannot make the sorrow something different. You cannot take the pain away.

You can show up.